almost done

i can't believe last week was my last week of school ever and that this semester, year, my time here is pretty much over and done.

i feel like since my last update so much has happened, so many dramas and highs and lows that i couldn't possibly try to fit everything in but i'll chuck in some photos and life lessons because i'm procrastinating any my brain is well and truly fried from too much working on the same paper/thesis. it's funny, i seem to be the "type" of person to go to grad school, but i wonder if it will ever happen...right now it's not on the cards thats for sure! foreword: i dont think the photos have much/any correlation to the life lessons but they are just a few that i like...

Life Lesson 1: Sometimes people don't make sense.

Sometimes no matter how hard you try, or how good your intentions are, relationships fall apart. Many people say they forgive, but they dont. And there comes a point where you can only do what you can do. When people are try to humiliate you, sometimes it's better to let them rather than to retaliate. Most of the time, you're not as humiliated as you feel like you are, and the other person looks like a fool. It's better to keep your conscience clear, revenge really doesn't satisfy. only in forgiveness can we be set free from those who have hurt us.

Life Lesson 2: Things are always uncertain. always.

I've been freaking out for the last year and a half, every time someone has asked me how i was or where i was at, i would always say, things are really uncertain. Things are always going to be uncertain. nothing at all is promised to us, not even today. i think i'm at the point where i'm about to step into the unknown, and i dont think it's ever going to stop. when you get comfortable with that, you can get rid of a lot of stress.

Life Lesson 3: Relationships really are the most important things in life.

I made a decision at the beginning of this year based around the idea that relationships are more important than most other things in life when push comes to shove. That decision kind of threw me into living that out. I made a sacrifice for a friend, which was a normal and logical choice for me, but it also made me realise how much i had taken my other friendships for granted. without water polo as a focus or goal, i was forced to be vulnerable with my friends and a really raw and painful way. I don't know how many of them actually realised it, but i felt completely stripped bare for all to judge and draw conclusions about, and i was moved to tears so many times when they covered me, they took the ugly with the beautiful and embraced all of it. Not just observe it from a distance, but embrace all of it. there were others that rejected all of it too, which had their own tears. and that forced me to assess where i was at, and really think hard about the person i am, and the person i want to be, and it also forced me to become ok with myself as a person, not a water polo player.

Life Lesson 4: Don't let fear of falling stop you from jumping...if that makes sense

Honestly i just really wanted to put some pictures of my skydiving adventure on here but it kind of makes sense. i was so terrified coming back this semester, but have had such an amazing journey. definitely not easy a lot of the time, but amazing never the less. i've discovered in myself a resilience that i didn't realise i had. i never even called myself an athlete until a month before i finished playing polo at UH. it turns out i'm a little bit free spirited and actually really enjoy adventure, i think i allowed what i thought other people's opinions of me put me in a bit of a box before. anyways, if you ever get the chance to jump out of a plane at 13,000 ft with a parachute on i fully recommend it!

So this is me, at the edge of the big cliff called life, a vague idea of where i want to go but knowing that there is a big likelihood of it not going the way i want it to, nervous and excited and terrified at the same time, but hopefully ready nevertheless!