rut

so, im sitting here, bored bored bored, it's too hot to do much, i should be job hunting but recently just haven't been motivated. i had the almost perfect summer job lined up, teaching english to 4-6 year olds in a camp starting next week but then all of a sudden, less than a week before it started, it all fell through so i've been feeling quite sorry for myself the last few days haha. i was so relaxed and calm about everything in the first time in so long and all of a sudden i'm back in the anxiety of having no secure income. will have to go around the bars to see if i can work in a terrace somewhere, or else i will be coming home early! i did see an add today, just on a normal work website, like seek.co.nz or something, under miscellanous, an add for a girl to be in a porno movie for girl on girl action that was paying 200euros an hour! hahaha tempting....(JOKING MUM AND DAD!) anyways, i hate complaining on the blog, so on to bigger and better things

summer has finally come out in full force here in madrid, this week has been an average of 35 degrees every day, last night there was a lightning storm which we watched from my 9th floor window that looks out over the south of madrid, have never seen fork lightning before and it was just amazing. so cool. but still boiling hot.

i have to say i'm very proud of the all whites, contrary to the rest of the world the spanish media hasn't been that kind to them, the opinion after the italy game was that nz was terrible and italy obviously even worse for not being able to trash us. but a boy that i teach told me today that he was impressed but how the all whites played above the media and above the expectations of the world, which i think was quite a profound comment for a 14 year old boy! and he was right, we have a lot to be proud of. the all whites showed us something that is all too common for smaller, 'less popular' nz teams, how close we are to the top, but how we lack that little bit extra to get there. i think the all whites, should they continue on this route, can definitely get there. i'm really curious to know how much funding they got. i also had to laugh when i saw this photo today in the herald with an article about how kiwi fans had clashed with police after nz's last game for staying in the stadium for too long.

the guy in the kiwi costume is just too funny, have to say though, i'm proud that the article didn't talk about how we were voilent or fighting with police, if they had been spanish fans there would have been no hands up in the air thats for sure. i guess the sa police need to use forceful tactics a lot more than we are used to in nz. i just love that guy in the kiwi costume!

the soundtrack of my life in madrid

these guys are friends of my flat mate, i went to a concert of theirs last year, and a month or so ago i got to go to their house to hear them just have a jam (haha, sounds funny talking about a jam session of accordian and violin, but thats what it was), which is in the old part of Caceres, a beautiful city in Extremadura, (western spain next to portugal), with a view of the old city walls and churches from the window, all very enchanting. anyways, last night they came to madrid to release their new album and i got to go along, and i can't tell you how much i loved it, the music just brings out so many emotions, and you really do feel like you're in a movie. anyways, it's not everyone's cup of tea i'm sure but i really wanted to share them with you, i strongly recommend the album if anyone is interested. 10 euros. absolute steal. the concert was in a retro style jazz bar, brought out my artistic side haha, yup. aparently there is one...

what can i say...i'm a sucker for lamp shades...

trying to be artistic...

the amazing musicians javier and pedro

4am post concert shot

resurfacing

i'm guna start doing this again...maybe to keep up with all my amazing and creative friends who are blogging their amazingness like crazy...maybe to keep some account of my life at the moment, whichever. getting back into it. sitting here on a saturday afternoon, pondering what to do with myself once i leave spain and force myself to get a life. starting to feel the effects of not being home (with the exception of a whirlwind 10 days for my bro's wedding) in over 9 months, and while i'm really happy to be staying here for the summer, because i'll probably never have the opportunity to do this again, am struggling a bit lately. i need my family. or more of my family in my life anyway. we'll skype today or tomorrow i am sure. haha. anyways, before coming online today i was having a small identity crisis about what to do with my life and trying to think of some kind of skill i have that would allow me to find a somewhat fulfilling job in my life and what was i thinking staying here for the summer without any secure source of income, and sitting here typing this out, i had a thought, and i think i'm guna stick with it. maybe i need this summer, i need this insecurity of not having a proper job and relying on myself in a country where i can't even 'legally' get a job so that when i get home, i will know that i can survive. i don't know when i developed such a fear of the real world, or where i got the idea that i wouldn't make it in this life, but maybe i need these next few months to know that the world isn't going to eat me alive, that i can make it on my own, and that i do (or will somehow find!) have the resources and skills to keep myself going when nothing is for certain... thats what i'm guna stick with for the moment anyway.